exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
