i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
