I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
this hospital has no fireball
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
