We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
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We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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