you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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