this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
