i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Randomize
