Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
