apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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