Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
she smelled like a LAN party
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
