Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
