But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
