Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
