Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
