Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
