I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
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When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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