Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
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I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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