and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize