He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
