Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I need moral support for this bender
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
