my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
