were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
