so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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