shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
