I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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