Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Nicole vs. Life
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
