I just cut my nipple shaving
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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