Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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