let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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