WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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