Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
