I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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