Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
