Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
