Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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