You made me cry and you don't even care
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
