Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize