I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
