I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
