I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
