It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
