My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
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