I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
