If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
