hotel room ftw
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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