Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
