Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
