I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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