We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
