I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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