He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
