a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
