She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
