How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
