We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
