You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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