idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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