Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
My vagina just recognized that song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize