I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
