Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
