What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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