girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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